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I was diagnosed with Bipolar I in 2003 and have largely fallen flat on my face in my attempts to live successfully with this illness. I looked for meaning outside my self, and sought partnership, love and the comfort provided. As a result of never properly caring for my mental health, I was divorced twice, attempted suicide twice and have been hospitalized in three different California counties. I have absorbed the weight of my transgressions and decided to move forward towards meaning. In 2013 I started investing in my recovery on a personal basis. I acquired skills, pursued introspection and began to take my illness very seriously. I did not want to attempt suicide again. I had a fundamental desire to live with pride, and help those who could not help themselves. I wanted to reach out a friendly hand, much the way a hand had been offered to me when I needed it most. I knew I had caused pain in my past, and I did not want to be remembered as just that person who had lived that regrettable life. Now, I work for the National Alliance on Mental Illness in Sacramento and I am the program coordinator for our Connection Recovery Support Groups. I do outreach, grant writing, website administration and I also work for NAMIWalks as a the 2019 Sponsorship Chairman. I hope to earn a place in the mental healthcare network here in my community and will work tirelessly towards promoting positive messages about the truth, hope and meaning of recovery.